Sharing a moment of tolerance

In this day and age there's a definite feeling among atheists that we're on the shit list. We rank below the "terror" that is the Muslims (no pun intended), we're barred from public office in several states, and considered sub-human by well-spoken members of the clergy. Most atheists are afraid to admit their lack of belief, and will do whatever they can to avoid the subject. Some go so far as to fake belief in order to avoid detection.

I typically find a middle ground between this and the heavily outspoken atheists that are finally making us known. I rarely directly bring up the subject (except online), especially as there's rarely a point, but I also don't avoid it. If someone asks me my religion, I'll readily state that I have none, and am an atheist. But that doesn't mean I don't dread the moment, wondering what reaction I'll get.

Now I'll admit that in Southern California it's really not that hard for me as it would be elsewhere. I can't really think of any moments where I've been directly, recognizably persecuted for my lack of belief, or treated especially poorly. That said, outside of my circle of friends, it does generally bring up challenges. I've had people tell me it takes as much faith to be an atheist as a Christian. I've had people start questioning me on where love comes from. I've had people try to prove the divinity of the Bible. I've had people in a conversational, accepting, friendly tone let me know that they accept that I'm an atheist, but feel bad for me that I'll be burning for eternity in Hell. The point is, it's very uncommon that it's mentioned and doesn't lead to someone trying to save me, or point out that I'm wrong, and that's never comfortable.

Yesterday, though, I was at a client's office, assisting with the phone support for their email host. I spelled out my name to the support technician, and heard the owner of the company joke to her associate, "ooh, a nice Jewish boy!" I chuckled slightly at this since yes, my surname and background back up this assumption, and I've heard it before. I've also had the least problem with Jews as while I disagree with their religion no less than any of the rest, they tend to be some of the most likable and least judgmental towards others of any religious group that I've dealt with.

Anyway, her associate chided back that she had no way of knowing I was a Jew. The owner pointed out my last name. The smirk on my face was growing by the second. Her associate parried back that just because I had a Jewish last name didn't prove my religion. Maybe I was Catholic. "Heck, I bet he's an atheist. I'm sure of it." I could barely keep from laughing on the phone at this point as I finished up the call.

Once I hung up, the owner asked me if I was Jewish. I laughed, gestured to her associate, and said, "nope, she wins," with a chuckle as I got back to work. Her associate cheered over her successful guess, we chatted for a few moments about my family history, explaining the blood connections and roots of the name while I worked, and nothing else was said. It was friendly, open, non-confrontational, and felt nice.

Why can't we have this more? Why do people like us have to live in dread of these conversations going the other way? Why can't all of us be this tolerant of others and their idiosyncrasies? I think people's religious beliefs are completely wrong, but I'm respectful enough to begrudge them their right to them and not treat them poorly over them. And likewise I'm sure many of my friends and coworkers who accept me believe I'm nuts for not accepting Jesus Christ as my personal lord and savior, or whatever their religion dictates. But the people I choose to surround myself with are respectful enough to recognize and accept that difference. Heck, one of my best friends from my old job, and one of the most intelligent people I know, is an extremely hardcore Christian, but I only learned this from his MySpace page. Hasn't changed the way I interact with him one bit, and considering how open I am about what I believe, I can only assume he's aware of me. Yet neither of us has ever discussed the topic, and I hope to keep it that way. I respect him too much to get into a religious argument that could damage a friendship. And don't get me started with the most important person in my life, the woman I've chosen to spend the rest of my life with. We even take the risk and have the conversations, but we still work hard to respect each other's differences and grow our perspectives off them, and it's fantastic.

My point is that there's plenty of room for this in the world, but there seems to be so very little of it. Right now Christians claim there's a war on their religion from the secularists. But what they don't seem to realize is that they started it. Their lack of respect for beliefs no more crazy than their own, and their push to either convert us or make us live by their laws has forced our hand. We're not at war with them, but we're also not going to be stepped on by their bigotry, prejudice, and disrespect any longer. We're here, we live alongside them, we're just as valuable to society, and we're HAPPY to work together with them to make our towns, cities, states, and countries a wonderful place for us all. There is a middle ground, and most on our side are merely striving to reach even that. Right now we're barely pushing back from the edge. But we're gaining. Mingle with us in the center, like so many of the wonderful people I've managed to associate with, and everything will be just fine. Those that don't will likely eventually find themselves on that very same edge.